"Okay, so, what you're telling me.......

.....is that I have to pay you $1500 per month, six months minimum, for you to be my coach? Is that correct?"

"Yes it is - but you have unlimited communication with me."

"Um, hmmm. Well, okay - I'll tell you what - I'll pay you the $1500 per month, six months minimum......but here is what I expect in return: First, I want you to do everything you advertised. BUT, I also want you to clean my bike, my house and my truck every week.......and do all the grocery shopping too. In addition, I want you to be at ALL of my races - not just a select few - with a video camera and another analyst telling me where I f***ed it all up. Next, I'm gonna need you back here before winter starts to split up all my firewood. And finally, not only do I expect you to coach me, but I expect you to coach Lori, our future kids and the entire team. OH - and I almost forgot - I need someone to do the laundry every week too.......seein's how I only do it once every other week. And Lori wants you to come over to cook dinner for us too a couple/few times a week......and breakfast too. And a money-back guarantee. How's that?? Hey, $1500 per month....that's some righteous bucks, Dudeage."

"Well, see, uh, well....uh.....I don't know if Chris would go for that. In fact, I don't think he would."

"Okay, hmmm. Well then, neither will we. Thanks anyway."

Are they outta their friggin' minds? I guess if you got the bucks, it doesn't mean anything. But man, when you don't........geezo, makes me wanna be a $1500 per month coach!