Yes, this is a real team.....
....not sure the "coach" is real though:
Coach Munson here...just taking a break from not actually working to send along some helpful advice for the big race tommorow. Please, keep these tips on the downlow. What I'm about to bring to the table is some top secret Psy-Ops stuff that only a guy as wise as myself could even begin to comprehend.
To keep things simple, I've broken down a vast tome of advice into three simple steps.
1) Tonight, you might be a little jittery with anticipation. Kind of like the butterflies in your stomach the night before the first day of school. Tomorrow you aren't starting junior high. You're going racing - that means it's time to become the ass kicker, not the ass kickee. To get in this right state of mind, I implore you to watch "Days ofThunder" tonight. Every bit of racing wisdom you didn't know you needed to know can be found in the sage advice of Robert Duval. "He didn't bump you. He didn't nudge you. He rubbed you, and rubbin's racin'."
2) At the start line, especially those two Stollerites with brand spanking new top shelf bikes, if anyone asks, play dumb about the prowess of the machine between your legs. Don't let anyone know what you know. Just stammer and explain that you made your purchase based on its cool paint job that matched your wife's car. Let them think you're the rube, until it's time to launch your winning attack.
3) Right before the start, a race official may ask if there's any further questions. This is the moment to psych out everyone. Pull a Hunt's Snack Pack pudding, chocolate or vanilla your choice, from your jersey pocket and ask if anyone has a spoon. Chances are nobody will, but no worries. Crack open the Snack Pack just the same and squeeze the pudding into your mouth as if you were chugging a beer. The ingredients in a Snack Pack aren't too far down the periodic chart from a Clif Shot so it won't harm you. It will only help as your fellow racers will instantly be too scared to compete and the race will be yours. Finally, you guys don't really need this bit of advice but good luck and keep the rubberside down.
Coach Munson
Gee, thanks coach - that was very helpful and useful advice. Now, what did you say you wanted me to do with those corndogs in my jersey pocket????
Coach Munson here...just taking a break from not actually working to send along some helpful advice for the big race tommorow. Please, keep these tips on the downlow. What I'm about to bring to the table is some top secret Psy-Ops stuff that only a guy as wise as myself could even begin to comprehend.
To keep things simple, I've broken down a vast tome of advice into three simple steps.
1) Tonight, you might be a little jittery with anticipation. Kind of like the butterflies in your stomach the night before the first day of school. Tomorrow you aren't starting junior high. You're going racing - that means it's time to become the ass kicker, not the ass kickee. To get in this right state of mind, I implore you to watch "Days ofThunder" tonight. Every bit of racing wisdom you didn't know you needed to know can be found in the sage advice of Robert Duval. "He didn't bump you. He didn't nudge you. He rubbed you, and rubbin's racin'."
2) At the start line, especially those two Stollerites with brand spanking new top shelf bikes, if anyone asks, play dumb about the prowess of the machine between your legs. Don't let anyone know what you know. Just stammer and explain that you made your purchase based on its cool paint job that matched your wife's car. Let them think you're the rube, until it's time to launch your winning attack.
3) Right before the start, a race official may ask if there's any further questions. This is the moment to psych out everyone. Pull a Hunt's Snack Pack pudding, chocolate or vanilla your choice, from your jersey pocket and ask if anyone has a spoon. Chances are nobody will, but no worries. Crack open the Snack Pack just the same and squeeze the pudding into your mouth as if you were chugging a beer. The ingredients in a Snack Pack aren't too far down the periodic chart from a Clif Shot so it won't harm you. It will only help as your fellow racers will instantly be too scared to compete and the race will be yours. Finally, you guys don't really need this bit of advice but good luck and keep the rubberside down.
Coach Munson
Gee, thanks coach - that was very helpful and useful advice. Now, what did you say you wanted me to do with those corndogs in my jersey pocket????
posted by Chico Cyclist at 10:45 AM
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